My Symphony of Happiness

My life has been screwed. Thank you, X. You are the best.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012 • 13:26 • 0 comments

Just want to share what has been bothering me... Life is freaking tough, isn't it? One problem goes away, and another ones come again... Is there an end of this life? Yes---death. So, you just need to die if you don't wanna have problems again... But, I have no idea what kind of problems you'll get in the hereafter later... :|

Yah... I just wanna reveal something. I know I was so stupid. You would know how stupid I was if you check the last posts. u,u

For someone...

I know, I know, I know... I have bothered you so much. And just for your information, I've also been tortured... by my-own-self. I don't wanna be blaming someone, but, I think this is the reality which has happened, not just for an excuse that I blame someone for my own stupidity, but this is the truth! If I wasn't told to do that, I WOULD NEVER DO THAT. I WOULDN'T SEND THOSE FUCKING MESSAGES. I WOULDN'T BE THAT SILLY AND STUPID. If you feel fed up of myself, fine. Because, I also have felt the same feeling when there's someone who acted weirdly to get my attention. I may be your freak-silly-(un)secret admirer. So, I'm sorry. Everything is already over. OVER OVER OVER. But, you know, I never did something stupid like this before. You might be wondering, how on earth could be someone like this? I also asked the same question to myself. I am dying and falling now. Falling into never-end-sadness. I am a girl. How could a girl do those silly things? I am embarrassed to myself. See? I am now smeared by regrets now. And the way you avoid me is killing me, for real. It hurts so bad. Though, there's already no feeling, it still feels hurt for me as a person who's still a girl.

I did those silly things because I was influenced by someone. See? My bestfriends will never ever try to trap me in this fucking stupidity. So, that person--X may not be my bestfriend. X might be only a friend who's just enjoying in seeing and watching what has been happening to myself. (Oh I forgot, also TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THIS). See? I have been stressed out by exams and what X has done. Moreover, when there's a message that I saw about you gave one of those fucking things to your friend, HOW COULD I BE ABLE TO FOCUS TO STUDY WHILE ON THE NEXT DAY WAS THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL EXAMS? AND YES, I AM FUCKING FAILED. I WAS CRYING AND REGRETTING FOR WHAT I'VE DONE ALL NIGHT LONG. I have been wasting my time. Really. And I regret everything about it... :-) Do you know what kind of a mess am I right now? Worse.

The point is... I apologize. It will never ever happen again. Please please please, and please... Forget about it. Act like there's nothing has happened. I don't know you like you don't know me. Don't be disgusted to me, because I already feel that feeling to myself. It's more than enough. My life now has been ruined, it's hard to build it well again. I know you are really kind. You are indeed a kind person... I don't ask and beg to you to understand my situation now. But, I know you are a good person. Thank you.