My Symphony of Happiness

The Right Escape

Friday, September 27, 2013 • 14:51 • 0 comments

Welcome!

I now still have a really bad sleeping time. Maybe that's one of the factor I've been feeling sick until now. Well, I don't eat well again ->

, I keep eating (

) during this holiday, and my effort to lose my weight seems useless.

I feel sick of myself and ask my motives to live this life. To be honest, I feel grateful being born in this beautiful family.

But, by doing many sins and making myself become darker as the time goes by, I just start asking, "Why God... Why did You make me alive and live this life?"

I just feel useless. I just do sins almost every day.

I think I should have left my immature life and start living as an adult. Still, I haven't found anything that can burn my passion (for positive things), but burn my passion into ashes until I feel overwhelmed and devastated instead.

The point is, I am still in my crisis life.

The more I keep it, the more I feel less motivated to change. The more I talk about it, the more I feel drowned. But, wait...

I WANT TO CHANGE!

I have 7 days left for my holiday, so I will list my problems and my goals to solve them in 7 days. Though it's not a new year where I usually list my own willings at the night of new year eve, I will arrange my habit now. I will start on 28th Sept. and see the result on 5th Oct.

- I am an obese girl with 75 kgs. -> I have to eat right and reach 68 kgs.

- I am having difficulties to study. I have to beat the procrastination and start studying for the next semester. -> I will review the previous lessons and start to study earlier for the next semesters's lessons.

- Move to my rent room well. Nothing is left behind.

- Prepare my main text books and note books.

- Studying the TOEFL all over again. Must have the scores >600!!!!!

- Go to Bandung to buy, Stories of Muhammad Book for my teacher, TOEFL book, notebooks, and a cute cup I have wanted so bad.

- Buy, read, finish the English text books and religious-motivation books.

- Get great scores and be cum-laude!

- Silence! NEVER: GOSSIP, UNDERESTIMATE, THINKING MORE ABOUT OTHERS! Karma does exist.

- RESPECT OTHERS! BE KIND!

- Do lots of competitions and winning them!

Maybe that's all for now. I believe, there are many things I still want but not discover them yet.

GOALS!!!

Well, beside that, I still have goals. Anyways, it's not far different from things I wrote above, but still, I just want to write them down.

- I want to learn the keyboard again!

- I want to be able to play, at least, one song from my keyboard lessons!

- I won't waste my parents' money for unnecessary things!

- I want to publish my novels!

- I want to do fashion blogger, one day!

- I want to be able to earn money from my own good effort! (not giving difficulties for my parents =))

- I want to study lots of things! (Laws, animal protections, art, music, etc.)

- I want to travel the world from my own effort! (London, Paris, Italy, NYC, Sydney, etc.)

- I want to be a cum-laude!!! (I want to make my parents proud to myself, not to others.)

- Meet and mary the right one! (Blonde, lol.)

Maybe that's all. Don't know why writing them making me happy!!!

Bye!

Lots of love,

Labels: Life, Motivation