I am married. After whining for years of not having a partner, I finally got married. My life hasn't changed much... because we haven't lived together. I stay here he stays there.

We just know each other, so we often argue because we don't have "that" same thoughts.. and I don't know how to feel love. What is love? Tell me how to love someone deeply. Tell me how.. to be in "honeymoon" stage? I am not sure I have ever been in that stage.

I often have bad thoughts of him... I read so many affair stories since the couple lives far. But to be honest I do trust him. I trust him that he only loves me. He loves me very bad. He told me he couldn't imagine to have a second love. He falls for me too hard. While I am still standing here picking up pieces of puzzles of mine. I have bad past. I have written that here but I deleted it. I was so afraid.. My husband found this blog and found my deepest dark past. Actually... nope. I feel like he doesn't care for me that much. He never has any effort to know me better. I have given him hints I have this online diary but he ignores it. While he may find the real me here. I want him to know the real me without me telling him what, I want him to be curious because he wants to know it by himself, not being forced by me...
He is not a romantic person and he's proud of it... While me, as a woman, very happy to be romanticised. It's every woman's dream I guess. I feel he doesn't treat me like what every couple does. Don't blame on me if I don't have a feeling like every couple do, or like you do to me Hunny... You don't know my past... Because you never try to know. Because of it, so many doubts in my heart of everything. Feel like there's a barrier in my brain... And I hope you can break the barrier and let me  let the feelings that has been accumulated there. I demand something more. Something can make me forget about past. But you never do anything. Until now I live with doubts.

You are welcome to exchange link with me. Just ask me at my cbox

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FRIENDS FRIENDS Anggraenni Yulia The World Of S3 Ziegey Cha Aoi ♥ Jhanna ♥ Vivid Black ♥ Maharani Gublernation ♥ A Wild Skinny Boy FRIENDS FRIENDS FRIENDS FRIENDS FRIENDS FRIENDS FRIENDS FRIENDS You're next :)

#Fun fact: I ♥ Nightwish, and other symphonic metal bands. Well, I really am open-minded for music genres. I also ♥ Eminem, Demi Lovato, etc. [See?] :)

Been in ♥ with my husband :

#FF: I ♥ my man, hunny

#FF: I am now surviving in a tough life of a faculty of medicine student. (Well, I am now a doctor already :) )

#FF: I am a hopeless romantic person.

#FF: I am a one-man woman (or girl? oh, well).

#FF: I ♥ Dragon Ball, Vegeta