My Symphony of Happiness

Bipolar? Brain Disorder? Depression? ... Or What?

Thursday, August 22, 2013 • 22:23 • 0 comments

I've taken several tests in the web when I searched about bipolar thingy. I got the web that served several tests about bipolar. I absolutely know that it might not be true unless we meet the professional one, the website also says so...

I took two tests: bipolar and depression.

My result was...

Bipolar: I got in the middle of the rank, which was ... bipolar likely
Depression: I got the freaking second rank! (Actually, I wasn't that shocked, I thought I knew the result wouldn't be good.)

They suggest me to see the professional ones. But, no freaking waaay!

I think I am now being a high temper person. I am just having to deal with the emotions that are formulated inside my brain. I don't know why... Maybe, the whole situations that have happened around me lately have pretty much changed me. I don't know...

It's just really difficult to control myself, especially my mind that will create a trigger to make me angry again, again and again. That's what I've been dealing until now. I've been hating my brother, I hate the way he eats, the way he breathes, everything he does in my Mom's home is never ever making me happy for him to be there. He's one of the factor for creating a person like me. He's pretty much ruined my life and personality. Thanks, Bro! He might not know the reason why, because, only me and my Lord who know. Yeah, absolutely, I can guarantee that no one knows except me and my Allah.

The only help I have to myself is me. Praying well is the best solution actually.

When I read some articles about the alter egos, I may have some alter egos. But, what I've been regretting, I may have chosen the wrong one since I go to the college.

I got migraine a lot. Moreover, in my period time. I was dying for more than 7 days during my period.
But, I was kinda sad with my one of best friends in the college. I had a plan of buying something from her and she might want me to get the thing and pay immediately. Yeah, she might need the money, but, when I said that I might not come to an event... Instead of wishing me to get well, she just texted "Ih...."

TO BE HONEST, I was sad and lost a little bit of respect to her. I love her as my best friend, but why... Only why. I didn't crave of the attention, but that time was a tough time for me. I got a heavy migraine, (the second day of period) it was totally killing me. Moreover, my Mom wasn't around. She was far away---accompanying my sister, a-mother-wanna-be. My body temperature was really high, I seemed to get a fever. Even the medication pills couldn't get the rid of the pain completely.

Usually, the pain will go completely after I take them and take a nap. But, at my period time, the pain will appeared only in one side of my head, as the time went on, the pain would be in my entire head. I even couldn't stand up without the pain would be like pushing my brain to a one spot.
Even when I take the pills and take a nap, the result wouldn't be satisfying. I would wake up with having a migraine in a little spot in my head. Maybe the pills can't handle all the pains.

Yeah... You know, the point was, the pain was bad. Totally bad. I want to curse how bad it is, actually. But, I think, it's not a wise thing to do. By the way, I still love my friend though I won't be forgetting the text that she sent to me as a reply.

Labels: Angry, College, Friends, Life, sad